Tonight while talking to an old friend through text message, my friend asked what I thought it meant to have faith or to take a "leap of faith" in life spiritually as well as in relationships. This is a question I really did not have an immeadiate answer for and I had to think about. "What does faith mean to me?" My mind autimatically went to a familiar verse,
Hebrews 11:1
" Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I pondered this verse for a bit and had to ask myself what this truely meant because often times in my life the Bible and scriptures can just become a bunch of words that I have memorized. I asked my grandparents what their defnition of faith was and my Grandpa shared something with me written by a bishop for the Pentacostal Church of God that really made sense to me and this is just a bit of what it said:
"its the fear of foolishness that keeps us from raising our hand in fourth grade. The other kids may laugh if i get the answer wrong. It is the fear of foolishness that keeps us from asking someone out on a date. I don't think I can handle the rejection if they say no."
it goes on to say that people throughout the Bible people who accomplished great things often looked foolish while carrying out the tasks. For example; Noah building the ark, Sarah buying maternity clothes at 90 years of age, Peter stepping out of the boat into the water, and Jesus hanging half naked on a cross beaten and bruised.
After I went through all this in my mind combining this Bishop's knowledge and knowledge of what the scripture has to say I have come to one conclusion;
Having faith does not mean you will never fail it does not mean that you will never experience pain or hurt. The phrase "leap of faith" is worded like that because sometimes you just have to jump not knowing what is going to break your fall. Yeah it could be broken glass and you could come out with a few scrapes, and having to get back up and try again but what if you are caught by God's grace and everlasting love? Is it not worth the risk. To me faith is jumping in head first and knowing God will be there despite the outcome. Who would have thought that a simple five letter word could have so much meaning.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Never Alone
All of my life I have been nothing but blessed by the people around me. I have an awesome family, amazing friends and a boyfriend who means the world to me. Though I know these people would do anything for me just as I would for them, there are times in my life when things become very overwhelming and they are simply not able to make me feel better no matter how hard they try.
These last few days have been that way for me, school is keeping me insainley busy, I am trying to search for a job all this amidst a million other things and I have felt, on a few occasions, that I was alone and no one understood what I was going through because no one lives my life obviously. Well today as I was listening to music and reading my Bible I found a couple scriptures that really encouraged me.
First is the second half of Proverbs 18:24 which simply states
"but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Second verse is Hebrews 13:5 also the end of the verse
"Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you."
Thses verses are encouraging to me in many ways but mostly because it shows me that even when I feel like no one is ever going to understand or even really cares about my problems and struggles no matter how big or small, I KNOW my God does and he is going to stick by me on the mountains and in the valleys and he is NEVER going to leave my side no matter what I do because he loves me.
These last few days have been that way for me, school is keeping me insainley busy, I am trying to search for a job all this amidst a million other things and I have felt, on a few occasions, that I was alone and no one understood what I was going through because no one lives my life obviously. Well today as I was listening to music and reading my Bible I found a couple scriptures that really encouraged me.
First is the second half of Proverbs 18:24 which simply states
"but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Second verse is Hebrews 13:5 also the end of the verse
"Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you."
Thses verses are encouraging to me in many ways but mostly because it shows me that even when I feel like no one is ever going to understand or even really cares about my problems and struggles no matter how big or small, I KNOW my God does and he is going to stick by me on the mountains and in the valleys and he is NEVER going to leave my side no matter what I do because he loves me.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Love is Patient, Love is Kind
Most of us at some point in our lives have been to atleast one wedding if not multiple weddings and due to this fact most of us can pretty much quote the ever so traditional "love is patient love is kind" line. However since I have recently begun a relationship I have occassionaly thought about marriage and in turn a wedding and those words.
I sat down to spend some God time today and felt the need to look up those scriptures and heres what I have come up with as my prayer for myself in this relationship I am now a part of.
" Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast ,it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres"
These are more than just words said at a wedding to me as I begin to fall in love and really understand what they mean. I have felt love for people my entire life but this is a different kind of love this is the kind of love.
I simply ask and pray that God allow me to follow these characteristics of love. I want to be patient and not become frustrated I ask that God help me be as kind as possible and to not get angered easily dispite circumstances. I pray i am never boastful to my partner I would never want to hurt him in that way. I pray I am never to proud to share my feelings and concerns with him. I pray that I don't hold onto grudges for that will only hinder our relationship and certainly not help it. I want to rejoice with him in all things good and truthful. I want a love of trust and hope and perserverance because that's a love a feel can last and withstand the toughest circumstances.
Now I am not naive enough to think that things will be easy all the time and to think that I will never be angry or upset or that he will never feel those emotions towards me but I do pray that I can keep these verses in mind in the midst of storms. I have learned just from this short time that when someone as important to me as him hurts I hurt when he is happy I am happy I want to share his burdens and troubles as well as his joys and happiness. I pray things continue on the Godly path in which they have begun and that these words can remain close in mind and in heart.
I sat down to spend some God time today and felt the need to look up those scriptures and heres what I have come up with as my prayer for myself in this relationship I am now a part of.
" Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast ,it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres"
These are more than just words said at a wedding to me as I begin to fall in love and really understand what they mean. I have felt love for people my entire life but this is a different kind of love this is the kind of love.
I simply ask and pray that God allow me to follow these characteristics of love. I want to be patient and not become frustrated I ask that God help me be as kind as possible and to not get angered easily dispite circumstances. I pray i am never boastful to my partner I would never want to hurt him in that way. I pray I am never to proud to share my feelings and concerns with him. I pray that I don't hold onto grudges for that will only hinder our relationship and certainly not help it. I want to rejoice with him in all things good and truthful. I want a love of trust and hope and perserverance because that's a love a feel can last and withstand the toughest circumstances.
Now I am not naive enough to think that things will be easy all the time and to think that I will never be angry or upset or that he will never feel those emotions towards me but I do pray that I can keep these verses in mind in the midst of storms. I have learned just from this short time that when someone as important to me as him hurts I hurt when he is happy I am happy I want to share his burdens and troubles as well as his joys and happiness. I pray things continue on the Godly path in which they have begun and that these words can remain close in mind and in heart.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sickening Feeling, Not Always A Bad Thing......
This morning as I was making my coffee God felt the need to remind me of some of the times when he has used me to speak to people, most recently this past Sunday morning at church. I was unsure of the purpose of this at first but as I got to thinking why he could possibly want me to remember these things on this particulair day and then I remember a conversation I had with a good frind just a couple nights ago. She knows God wants her to do something but is scared of what the consequences may be if she does indeed talk to this person. So this is kinda for her (she knows who she is).
I got to thinking about when I feel like God wants me to tell someone sonething and how I feel, because afterwards its easy to forget how difficult it was to actually do it because I now see the positive outcomes of the situations. I remember one time inparticulair when I was at bible study at a friends house and God kept speaking the word "comforter" not sure what this meant I just kinda pushed it aside thinking I would figure it out later but God didn't quit I eventually had to get up and write down what I was being told and look up the verses he had given me. At that point I knew I was supposed to give this to someone but wasn't sure who, it was then that I recieved a text and I then knew who it was for. I just so happened to be the last person in the world that I wanted to give it to (go figure right). Needless to say I argued with God pretty much the entire ride home and told him I didn't want to do it but ultimately I decided okay I will do it. However when I got back to my dorm I began having second thoughts and doubting if tis was even God or if I was doing the right thing. I literally felt sick to my stomach with nerves and I had to do something so I called my friend and asked her to come to my room. When she got there I almost backed out yet again but before I could just handed her the paper with everything God had spoken to me on it she read it and guess what it was exactly what she needed on that day.
This wasn't the first or last time this has happened to me but I have recently come to the conclusion that when I begin to doubt something or question something that has been consistantly pulling at me for a long period of time it is usually God and the enemy is trying to keep me from being a witness. So I just have to suck up and do it and I have yet to be let down by God. I trust that he is the one speaking and not myself and I know he ALWAYS has the words that need to be said and that I myself am not the one that is helping the person involved.
I got to thinking about when I feel like God wants me to tell someone sonething and how I feel, because afterwards its easy to forget how difficult it was to actually do it because I now see the positive outcomes of the situations. I remember one time inparticulair when I was at bible study at a friends house and God kept speaking the word "comforter" not sure what this meant I just kinda pushed it aside thinking I would figure it out later but God didn't quit I eventually had to get up and write down what I was being told and look up the verses he had given me. At that point I knew I was supposed to give this to someone but wasn't sure who, it was then that I recieved a text and I then knew who it was for. I just so happened to be the last person in the world that I wanted to give it to (go figure right). Needless to say I argued with God pretty much the entire ride home and told him I didn't want to do it but ultimately I decided okay I will do it. However when I got back to my dorm I began having second thoughts and doubting if tis was even God or if I was doing the right thing. I literally felt sick to my stomach with nerves and I had to do something so I called my friend and asked her to come to my room. When she got there I almost backed out yet again but before I could just handed her the paper with everything God had spoken to me on it she read it and guess what it was exactly what she needed on that day.
This wasn't the first or last time this has happened to me but I have recently come to the conclusion that when I begin to doubt something or question something that has been consistantly pulling at me for a long period of time it is usually God and the enemy is trying to keep me from being a witness. So I just have to suck up and do it and I have yet to be let down by God. I trust that he is the one speaking and not myself and I know he ALWAYS has the words that need to be said and that I myself am not the one that is helping the person involved.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Thoughts That Kept Me Up
It's been a couple weeks since I have posted mainly because I really haven't had anything to say. However, tonight while I was getting ready for bed a had about a million things running through my min and yet not a single answer or solution for any of them. It was then I was prompted to get out my Bible because afterall it seems to always have the answers I need. I hate that i don't read it as much as I should but am always glad when I do decide to study and read The Word. Tonight God led me to Romans 12, a chapter that seems to be coming up alot in my life lately, so I decided to read it and it answered one of the most resounding questions in my head right now.
What significance do I have in the body of Christ?
Romans 12 discusses how every body has parts and no matter the size they all serve a very significant and much needed job all the way from the heart to your pinky toe each part is needed in order for the body to function normally. This is the same with a spiritual body. It goes on to say that people are called to do and be different things and you are to do what you are called fully, If you are called to prophessy then prophessy, if your called to teach then teach. I have recently learned that you don't have to be a preacher or evangelist or miracle worker to be a minister of the gospel. I have learned that sometimes the most powerful ministers are the high school teachers who never turn a child down who needs a friend, or a factory worker who always has a smile, or the janitor who never has a negative thing to say.
I am learning that though I may not know right now exactly what God has planned for my future that if I do what I can for him now it's all going to pan out as it should. Romans 12 also says to love sincerely and right now even if that's all I have to contribute to the kingdom then I will do it with all that I have, because how am I to know who it could touch and what lives it could reach. I ask for anyone who is reading this to pray for me that I can listen and obey what God calls me to do in the future and I also ask that you consider and pray about it in your own lives.
It's rare that God gives me a specific verse or chapter to read but when he does I always get such great insight and tonight I just felt it would be nice to share. However now it is off to bed I am exhausted and just want to sleep so good night everyone!!
What significance do I have in the body of Christ?
Romans 12 discusses how every body has parts and no matter the size they all serve a very significant and much needed job all the way from the heart to your pinky toe each part is needed in order for the body to function normally. This is the same with a spiritual body. It goes on to say that people are called to do and be different things and you are to do what you are called fully, If you are called to prophessy then prophessy, if your called to teach then teach. I have recently learned that you don't have to be a preacher or evangelist or miracle worker to be a minister of the gospel. I have learned that sometimes the most powerful ministers are the high school teachers who never turn a child down who needs a friend, or a factory worker who always has a smile, or the janitor who never has a negative thing to say.
I am learning that though I may not know right now exactly what God has planned for my future that if I do what I can for him now it's all going to pan out as it should. Romans 12 also says to love sincerely and right now even if that's all I have to contribute to the kingdom then I will do it with all that I have, because how am I to know who it could touch and what lives it could reach. I ask for anyone who is reading this to pray for me that I can listen and obey what God calls me to do in the future and I also ask that you consider and pray about it in your own lives.
It's rare that God gives me a specific verse or chapter to read but when he does I always get such great insight and tonight I just felt it would be nice to share. However now it is off to bed I am exhausted and just want to sleep so good night everyone!!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
So haven't really posted since I got home from Jamaica, mainly because I haven't had a whole lot to say but I figured what the heck I will just update my whole probably two readers on my life.
I got back from Jamaica on the 20th of June and spent a week just relaxing around the house getting used to the way things work in America again and then on the 27th I was off again!
My mom and her fiance' were headed up to the northeastern US towards Boston and New Hampshire, Connecticut and all that to visit some of his family, and since I had never been to any of those places I decided to tag along. So now I am sitting in a hotel room on a not so comfortable bed waiting on them to be ready to go so that we can go say our goodbyes and get on our plane to head home.
Once I get home who knows what my plans for the rest of the smmer will be they seem to come along as they do and I just go with it. Hoping to get back home, meaning, Clarksville, sometime before Auguest to visit soome friends from high school and some family. Then its off to school in August!!! I absolutely can NOT wait I miss that place mroe than I ever thought I would!!!!! I will once again be changing my major this time I am most positivie it is permanent because I really feel Adolescent psych is the perfect place for me to be.
Alright I will quit boring everyone with my plans now and get off of here and clean up so we can go.
Peace :)
I got back from Jamaica on the 20th of June and spent a week just relaxing around the house getting used to the way things work in America again and then on the 27th I was off again!
My mom and her fiance' were headed up to the northeastern US towards Boston and New Hampshire, Connecticut and all that to visit some of his family, and since I had never been to any of those places I decided to tag along. So now I am sitting in a hotel room on a not so comfortable bed waiting on them to be ready to go so that we can go say our goodbyes and get on our plane to head home.
Once I get home who knows what my plans for the rest of the smmer will be they seem to come along as they do and I just go with it. Hoping to get back home, meaning, Clarksville, sometime before Auguest to visit soome friends from high school and some family. Then its off to school in August!!! I absolutely can NOT wait I miss that place mroe than I ever thought I would!!!!! I will once again be changing my major this time I am most positivie it is permanent because I really feel Adolescent psych is the perfect place for me to be.
Alright I will quit boring everyone with my plans now and get off of here and clean up so we can go.
Peace :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The One Who Stole My Heart
So from the first day I was in Jamaica I have met some totally amazing and wonderful childrens, teens and adults and as I am sitting here with only a few days to go before I head home I am thinking about the people I have met and the impact they have made on me and my life. When on the second day of our arrival Ericka and I were asked to join the children's church on their outting to Hope Garden Zoo I really had no idea what to expect however once arriving and meeting all the kids I knew it would be a great day. Once we finished looking at allt he zoo had to offer we all went to an open feild near by and spent the remainder of the day playing games and having fun. It was then that I met a little four year old girl who came up to me and asked me to play catch with her and everyone knows its nearly impossible to say no to adorable young girl with a beautiful smile holding a Hello Kitty beach ball! It was then that I met Zoe!
I absolutely fell in love with this girl she was so happy and so inquisitive about everything around her and one of the most polite and well behaved four year olds I have ever come into contact with. Once we decided to take a rest from our playing one of the older girls informed me that Zoe had lost her mom only a short time ago. This totally broke my heart. As we continued to play this same older girl asked Zoe where her mother was and Zoe simply said as sure as ever.
I absolutely fell in love with this girl she was so happy and so inquisitive about everything around her and one of the most polite and well behaved four year olds I have ever come into contact with. Once we decided to take a rest from our playing one of the older girls informed me that Zoe had lost her mom only a short time ago. This totally broke my heart. As we continued to play this same older girl asked Zoe where her mother was and Zoe simply said as sure as ever.
"My Mommy is in the sky and she don't come down anymore but that okay I will see her agains soon."
After hearing these words come from such a small person I nearly lost it. It just never ceases to amaze me how God can show his love and mercy to even the smallest of people and can give them faith enough to make it through some of the hardest things in life. When she said those words I asked God right then and there to give me the faith of a child. I never really knew what that meant till I met this little girl.
As I arrived at the church tonight for a meeting I was so delighted to see Zoe standing outside. I no sooner got out of the car when she ran up to me and gave me one of the most needed hugs and smiles of my life. I will cherish this little one forever and never forget how on one of our last days together we spent a good thirty minutes playing catch with an imaginary ball outside. I only wish everyone had the opprotunity to meet this precious child. Thank you Zoe for all you have taught me may the Lord bless you and keep you always.
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